How does one say good-bye?

*Warning- this could be a tearful read *

As we are getting closer to meeting our "Nugget" ...

(34 weeks - literally a basketball tummy!)

we are also getting closer to saying good-bye to our amazing dog, Koda.

We adopted Koda from the Fairbanks Human Society in March 2006.

(Koda playing in the Nenana snow!)

It all started with Leif taking me to the movies and we watched the movie 8 Below. I loved watching the huskies in that movie. After the movie, probably the next weekend or so, we were headed to Fairbanks and I asked Leif if we could just "go look" at the humane society. On our drive into town, we talked about what kind of dog we would like "some-day."

(Koda hiking Ski Hill in Cordova)

We both agreed that we wanted a large dog who would enjoy the outdoors with us. I shared that with all my childhood pets, I never named one. If I had my own pet, I always wanted to name it Koda.

(Koda supervising Grandpa's salmon catch)

So we walked into Fairbanks Humane Society (remember - just to "look") and there he was. A one and half- year old malmute/husky mix, whose given name was Koda. How in the world was I suppose to leave him there? Our only problem was the fact that Leif and I were getting married in June down in South Dakota and then had already planned a 2 week trip to Australia followed by a month and half of of traveling to see family in friends in Wisconsin and Colorado and then a trip through Canada before taking a ferry back to Alaska. It didn't matter- I couldn't leave him!! So, we called my parents and asked if they would dog sit while we were in Australia. They agreed and for the rest of the trip we had planned - Koda "marked his territory" in throughout the mid-west and into Canada!

Koda has had many adventures and his most recent one of being the "big brother" of our family, just proves what a blessing he has been to our lives.
He is so gentle and kind with Leinna.

While this is a young picture of Leinna, to this day, she snuggles up with him on his blanket and will sit against his belly telling him all kinds of stories. Koda just lays there and listens to her.

So as I said, while we prepare for "Nugget's" arrival, we are also preparing to say good-bye to our beloved Koda.

Koda is allergic to something in Cordova and it's affecting his skin. He's lost 90% of his hair from the middle of his back and belly. The medication we first tried made him gain a significant amount of weight. So, we switched to a different medication and when he lost the weight, it was apparent his rear hips now had arthritis. Koda is no small dog- weighing around 150 pounds and when sitting comes to my hip level- to have arthritis in his back hips really makes it challenging for him to stand up and go up and down stairs. The new medication he was on seemed to help at first, but as I said, he's now lost a good amount of his hair. One of the side-effects of the medication can be kidney damage. While, we haven't been to the vet yet to confirm, we believe Koda has more than just a skin allergy going on. He hasn't been able to control his bladder/bowel while we are at work, which in away has been a blessing. Gross - I know, but it's given us a chance to see that he has blood in his stools.

So between his skin dander/hair falling out all over the house (I literally have to vacuum twice a day), the blood in his stools and the shear fact that his eyes look at me like, "I'm tired - I love you and I'm trying to hang on for you- but I think my time has come" we've decided it's time. I've been praying that Koda would just pass on his own in the middle of the night. However, if this doesn't happen soon, then Leif and I have agreed that we need to bring peace to Koda.
Until that day comes, I hope that Koda knows how much I love him and how much I will miss him when he's gone. I trust that when he is gone, he will find the best snow bank in heaven and continue to watch over us from above.